My little rolly-polly makeup person applied a fresh layer of foundation the next day.

Although I was exhausted, I had to do the noon news and Sylvia worked double time to get me back in shape. I needed to tell someone what happened and I knew Sylvia could keep her mouth shut.

“I was sloshed over the side of the levee into the freezing water. I dog paddled for a while, but the cold was getting to me.”

Sylvia let my foundation set as she pulled some knots out of my hair with a soft brush.

I looked in the mirror at her. “I was so cold I lost my ability to swim.”

“Yous didn’t drown so somethings must of happens?”

How long has she been with me, five years? When is she going to stop speaking that chopped Spanish and start using decent English?

“My thoughts got sluggish and my limbs froze. I was sure I was going to drown in that cursed river.” Continue reading →

CHAPTER #4 THE DRUGSTORE COWBOY

I performed my best dance of the evening when another browsing couple happened to stop and look in the display window. They became the second audience for the soon to be famous Cassandra Liltkey, Flamenco dancer extraordinaire.

They would remember that night, because they’ll soon read about me when my name becomes a household word. I spun, stomped my heals and clapped my castanets with an even greater fervor than before.

I was so caught up in the dream of being famous that I failed to notice the couple disappear from my display window stage. When I opened my eyes, they were running in the direction of the Torez Mexican restaurant. It’s their loss. Continue reading →

From my dry perch in the tallest building in Marysville, my twenty-forth toothpick swirling, I watched with fascination as the motor home lifted slightly, listed and then disappeared behind the levee with a huge gush of water.

I watched in shock as Yamelda, goddamn, Keating got knocked to her knees and washed out of sight. I wished I could do something, but on second thought, maybe not. She’d been a thorn in my butt for years. She’d relentlessly dogged me ever since the Tenican disaster. Because of her, I’d been on the news more than the weather and she hadn’t painted a pretty picture. Good riddance!

The gap in the levee widened allowing water to gush toward downtown.

I’d worked out all the details. I counted on the flood. When the rains hadn’t stopped, I celebrated. With each rising foot of water I toasted to future success. When the far side of the levee, the freaking wrong side, gave way, my buildings were not going to be flooded. Never mind that the entire WASS news team was washed over the side and probably drowned. I didn’t consider that most of upper class Marysville was going to be under water. It was the biggest disaster in fifty years yet all I could think about was what was going to happen to my extremely overextended investments.

Continue reading →

I was tired of waiting out the rain. I was fed up with sitting around watching TV and drinking beer. Breast fondling was the only thing I wasn’t tired of, but Tammy’s breasts were becoming tedious. I’d been inside the house for the better part of the day. Tammy and me had spent most of the morning practicing Billy inspired sex positions. Although I only drank two six-packs so far, I felt thickheaded and numb.

I picked up the phone and hit the re-dial button. The number rang my best bud, Sundog Anderson. He was the only person I ever called.

As the phone rang, I thought for the hundredth time that no sane mother would ever name a guy Sundog, but in the five years I’d known him, I never weaseled any other name out of him. Sundog was his name and I’d come to accept it.

I re-dialed twice and let the phone ring four times each call. It was The Dog Man’s secret code.

He answered with his normal gruff voice. “What the fuck you want?”

I tried to match him. “Hey Dog, what the fuck you up to?” Continue reading →