I, Billy F. Marlin, babe-magnet, God’s-gift-to-women, best lay this side of Colorado, stepped into the house and wanted to say the words, “Honey I’m home.” Why am I nervous? She’s just another babe with hooters, but for some reason I’d have given half of my night’s haul to yell those words and have her come running.

I was no movie star or even partially famous. . . well, okay maybe in Clancy’s I had a little fame, but in reality I’m just some guy, able to bench press 280 and think on my feet. Continue reading →

After climbing from the roof of the bug in through the window with my work dress embarrassingly hiked up to my waist, and worst of all being grabbed in the ass by that geek who seemed to show up every time I did a shift, I sat sullenly against the door. I knew the guy had some kind of googly-eyed schoolboy crush. After the last experience with the jerk in the restored fifty-seven Chevy, I was having nothing to do with guys.

“I mean he’s cute enough, in a scarecrow sort of way,” I said to Sandy, my co-worker last week when it was slow. “I’m just not that interested in men.”

“Get that jack-off Chevy guy out of your mind,” Sandy said. “Not all guys are like him. Some are really okay.” Continue reading →

My little rolly-polly makeup person applied a fresh layer of foundation the next day.

Although I was exhausted, I had to do the noon news and Sylvia worked double time to get me back in shape. I needed to tell someone what happened and I knew Sylvia could keep her mouth shut.

“I was sloshed over the side of the levee into the freezing water. I dog paddled for a while, but the cold was getting to me.”

Sylvia let my foundation set as she pulled some knots out of my hair with a soft brush.

I looked in the mirror at her. “I was so cold I lost my ability to swim.”

“Yous didn’t drown so somethings must of happens?”

How long has she been with me, five years? When is she going to stop speaking that chopped Spanish and start using decent English?

“My thoughts got sluggish and my limbs froze. I was sure I was going to drown in that cursed river.” Continue reading →

CHAPTER #4 THE DRUGSTORE COWBOY

I performed my best dance of the evening when another browsing couple happened to stop and look in the display window. They became the second audience for the soon to be famous Cassandra Liltkey, Flamenco dancer extraordinaire.

They would remember that night, because they’ll soon read about me when my name becomes a household word. I spun, stomped my heals and clapped my castanets with an even greater fervor than before.

I was so caught up in the dream of being famous that I failed to notice the couple disappear from my display window stage. When I opened my eyes, they were running in the direction of the Torez Mexican restaurant. It’s their loss. Continue reading →